Again I am going for another holiday break (this time on the beach, some people have family little villages to go, but in mi case I have retired parents living half of the year in the beach, not bad, I tell you!), but meanwhile I am leaving in the blog a humour post about women..... and men (yes, the same old "battle of the sexes" story, you know!) for you to enjoy and laugh for a while. I'll be back in a few days!
Okay, okay, it finally all makes sense now…. I never looked at it this way before:
When we have REAL trouble, it’s a
Ever notice how all of the female problems start with MALES???
THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
Age 17: Wine coolers
Age 25: White wine
Age 35: Red wine
Age 48: Dom Perignon
Age 66: Shot of Jack with a chaser
Excuses for refusing dates:
17: Need to wash my hair
25: Need to wash and condition my hair
35: Need to colour my hair
48: Need to have Francois color my hair
66: Need to have Francois color my wig
Definition of successful dates:
17: Burger King
25: Free meal
35: A diamond
48: A bigger diamond
66: Home alone
17: tall, dark and handsome
25: tall, dark and handsome with money
35: tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48: a man with hair (preferably not on back)
66: a man
17: He offers to pay
25: He pays
35: He cooks breakfast the next morning
48: He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66: He can chew breakfast
THE WOMEN POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep.
I pray for a man who’s not a creep.
One who’s handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks.
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he’s rich and self-employed.
And when I spend, won’t be annoyed.
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh, send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.
MEN ARE LIKE
You need one, but you’re not quite sure why
Sweet, smooth and they usually head right for your hips
The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you up all night long
You can’t believe a word they say
Hard to figure out and never have enough memory
Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong
They usually run at the first sign of emotion
The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small
They satisfy you, but only for a little while
Nothing can be done to change either one of them